Sense of Self

Why is it that as a young person, I am required to develop a strong identity? Why is it not OK to develop a sense of self throughout life?

As a young person, I feel like I am unable to be independent and self reliant. At the age of twenty, I should be able to live on my own and not have to worry about relying on anyone else to help me along. I feel as though I am not allowed to make my own choices; or maybe I'm just afraid to.

In some societies, young adults are not even allowed to make their choices. It's not a matter of being afraid to, it's a matter of not being able to. In countries such as Africa, Asia, and some Latino societies young adults are required to marry certain people, have certain careers, and go to specific schools. I'm fortunate enough to live in a society where I can make my own decisions and do whatever I want. But then again that doesn't mean I can or my family would agree with some of my decisions.

Like stated in the book, Americans as soon as they turn 18 they are on their own and nobody has authority over them any more. They don't have to listen to their parents (even though they should), they can choose whatever kind of job they want, among many other kinds of decisions.

Our identities develop differently. A person may have a close connection to their family and will create an identity that has a lot of the same views that your parents may had have. Those who didn't have a close connection with their family may tend to create their own identities by what they believe is right and wrong.

My identity has been mostly encouraged by what my parents thoughts are and what their beliefs are. My parents want me to go to college and to get into a good paying career. I think in a way they want me to have these things because they were unable to have them when they were my age. A person can't just wake up one day and say this is who I am as a person. It takes years and maybe even an entire life to be able to say with confidence this is who I am.

My overall thoughts about young people creating a sense of self, it is extremely important to understand what your families beliefs are and what you as a single person believes in. Mix those two things together and throughout their life, they will be able to create a strong independent person.